When you are applying for a job what process do you go through? Whatever it is I imagine you research the company, check out the job spec, see how your skills and experiences match up and so on. You then decide if you want to apply and if so follow the required steps. If they like what they see you will then have an interview or several depending on the position and either will or won't get the job. It doesn't quite work that way as an actor...
Let me start by saying that most actors nowadays, even the well known ones, are rarely just actors. We all have what is often referred to as 'side hustles' these can be full time, part time or ad hoc bits of work that sometimes relate to our acting skills but in many cases don't. When I came out of full time teaching and back into acting one of the things I knew I had to have was other streams of work that were fulfilling in their own right. I consider myself lucky that I get to work with inspiring and innovative people outside of acting and where I can utilise the skills that are essential to every actor in different ways.
So on to rejection... As I said, the process of getting a job is rather different for actors. We have agents who have varying levels of access to casting directors. CDs are the people who bring actors in to be seen by producers and directors and between them they decide which of us gets the job. My agent will submit me for any jobs she believes I am suitable for based on the brief. The casting director will then decide if they do/don't want to see me. I should add at this point that if they don't want to see me I only know when I ask to see the list of jobs my agent has submitted me for. But if they do want to see me I either have to go to a casting or, increasingly these days, send a self tape. Depending on the type of job theatre/film/tv/corporate and the size of the part I might need attend more than one casting but afterwards there is a strong possibility I will NEVER know I haven't got the job. I often know shooting dates if it's TV/film so I know it's definitely a no when these pass, but occasionally I've found out when I see whatever it is on TV or a friend says 'Oh I got this job in so and so playing so and so, it's on next week!' But more often than not the whole thing just fades away as if it had never existed in the first place. On the odd occasion I get an actual NO and these are so rare they almost feel a bit brutal sometimes. The fading to nothing is difficult but less harsh I suppose.
Now you know all of this you perhaps understand why actors have to have a bit of a thick skin. And we do, sort of... But it's a bit more complicated than that. Bryan Cranston of Breaking Bad fame says that his job, his REAL job is auditioning and not acting. It's a good place to start unpacking how we deal with rejection and how we can use it to our advantage. If we look at our job as playing the role, whether that is on a self tape or in the casting room then whether we do or don't book the job in the end almost becomes irrelevant. I have to say almost because let's be honest with ourselves, as much as that's a great way to look at it, auditioning for free is not going to pay the bills. That is where ensuring we have fulfilling side hustles comes in. If acting is all I'm doing on one hand it's easy to argue that perhaps I'll be more dedicated to it, BUT and it's a big one, it also means that everything I have, the roof over my head, the food in my belly, depends on me GETTING THAT JOB. So I become a hulking bulk of nervous energy who needs this job to live in every casting room I enter. Not the way to land a job, let me assure you! If I have other work that interests and fulfils me creatively and financially then I have the freedom to think differently when I am up for a job. This freedom enables me to be creative and interesting, it gives me the chance to be a solution to their problem, not a desperate actor who needs the job to feed her child.
The number of jobs I'm submitted for varies wildly each month but I usually expect to have anywhere between 5 and 20 self tapes or castings per month. It's mainly the lower end of this but I never know. Pre covid 19 I would expect to land perhaps 1 in 15 of those jobs at BEST. Not great statistics you might think but I actually do pretty well. The numbers vary depending on your sex, age, look, casting bracket. There are far fewer opportunities for me as a 50+ northern woman who is larger than average. So I have a reasonably good hit rate all things considered.
I hope that gives you an idea of the context in which I deal with rejection. Several times a month I email casting directors, I like and respond to tweets/facebook posts/instagram posts by CDs, directors, producers etc. I am my own business and any remotely successful actor understands this. It's part of my job to understand the nature of the business and how it is developing post covid. So how does all of this help me deal with rejection and how can you use that to help you grow in your own business? Here are my top tips for dealing with rejection:
It's not always about YOU! - Often we assume that when we are rejected it MUST be our fault and sometimes it is. But frequently as an actor I am rejected for things outside of my control. For example, I once didn't get the job because I looked too much like the lead actress in the scene. We had exactly the same hair, were the same build and the director wanted someone who looked different.
Allow yourself 24 hours - I give myself a full 24 hours to get annoyed, upset, frustrated or whatever I want to think/feel. But once that time is up I have to move on.
Imagine what you would say to someone else in your place - This is a big one, so much so that I actually wrote down what I would say to someone who didn't get a particular job. We have a tendency to be incredibly self-critical and belittle ourselves in a way we would NEVER speak to someone else. Write yourself a note you can read when things don't go your way.
It's only a failure if you don't learn from it - Every time I self tape or audition I can learn something. So it is never time wasted. I keep an audition journal where I write down things I have learned both positive and negative from every experience. Don't forget to include what you did WELL in this.
Not getting the job is not a reflection of our inherent talent - This is a big one and often difficult to accept. So many of us suffer from imposter syndrome. Lots of the exercises in my workshops are designed to help us recognise our own talent and understand that not getting something doesn't mean we are worthless.
Get in touch about how I can help you deal with and learn from rejection.
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