Have you ever stood in front of your team, a conference audience or a client you are pitching to and believed that you knew what they were thinking? Most of us have done this and we convince ourselves that we are right about what is on their minds. The problem with this is that we inevitably ascribe negative thoughts and feelings to those watching us. They think I look... (insert too fat, too thin, too tall, too short, too nervous as appropriate). They're bored, they hate me, they think I'm stupid and so on. We apply our own counterproductive ideas about how we are perceived and we are almost always WRONG!
The late James Randi offered a $1,000,000 prize to anyone who could, under scientific conditions, prove they had psychic abilities. Even after his death the prize is still available so if you are psychic, it's waiting! I'm confident that isn't the case though. I'd be willing to place a large bet that your audience are not thinking what you think they are. But because we allow ourselves to make those incorrect assumptions we carry around with us the consequences as if our audience really did feel and think all those negative things we tell ourselves they do.
As an actor it's my job to make believe in a truthful way. Because I believe in what I'm doing within the world of the play/TV show/film the audience are likely to suspend their disbelief and come along with me. It's why we can laugh, cry and get angry when we are watching a performance. Our bodies and brains behave, to an extent, as if the situations are real. So by telling ourselves that our audience think we are stupid, nervous, boring, too quiet, too loud or whatever it is we dislike about ourselves. We then behave/feel as if someone has walked up to us and said to our face all the things we think are true. We are our own worst enemies as it often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy as we then become nervous, boring, too quiet or too loud.
One of the first things I do when working with clients is to establish if they have limiting beliefs and negative self-talk (most of us do) and then work on how to not only silence those voices but to replace them with a supportive and constructive inner monologue. If you want to explore how developing voice and body language techniques can enable you to be not only a better presenter but more confident and self-assured in your daily life then get in touch for a consultation.
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